Here goes. I am now flexing my flamer muscles in my fingers. You do not want to be on the receiving end of my Wrath.
Dear Old Computer,
Remember back in the good old days when you fooled me into thinking you were awesome? We used to have fun together; I would sit in front of you and we'd play games: minesweeper, jezzball, solitaire, you name it. We were pretty good buddies, you and I. Back then you were dependable. You were always there for me.
But then you changed.
You became distant. You began shutting me out (of programs, of the internet, of you life). And who could forget that time you mysteriously lost and then deleted EVERY FILE IN MY VERY EXTENSIVE ITUNES LIBRARY?!!!! I don't believe I can ever forgive you for that. And then there was that last week we were together when you got even worse. You stopped working altogether; you completely crashed and left me all alone.
I'm not writing you this letter to get an apology. (You're too proud for that...and also...um...I'm not sure it's within your computer-y capabilities to respond to this in any way that I could comprehend because you are a TOOL. That's it. You're nothing without a person controlling you. You are worthless!!!) I'm just writing to tell you that I've moved on. You no longer have any effect over my life; I'm through being stung by your thoughtlessness and disregard for my every happiness.
Yes. There's someone else: a shiny, new model that is more than I could ever have hoped for--better than YOU ever were. And we're happy together.
Remember back in the good old days when you fooled me into thinking you were awesome? We used to have fun together; I would sit in front of you and we'd play games: minesweeper, jezzball, solitaire, you name it. We were pretty good buddies, you and I. Back then you were dependable. You were always there for me.
But then you changed.
You became distant. You began shutting me out (of programs, of the internet, of you life). And who could forget that time you mysteriously lost and then deleted EVERY FILE IN MY VERY EXTENSIVE ITUNES LIBRARY?!!!! I don't believe I can ever forgive you for that. And then there was that last week we were together when you got even worse. You stopped working altogether; you completely crashed and left me all alone.
I'm not writing you this letter to get an apology. (You're too proud for that...and also...um...I'm not sure it's within your computer-y capabilities to respond to this in any way that I could comprehend because you are a TOOL. That's it. You're nothing without a person controlling you. You are worthless!!!) I'm just writing to tell you that I've moved on. You no longer have any effect over my life; I'm through being stung by your thoughtlessness and disregard for my every happiness.
Yes. There's someone else: a shiny, new model that is more than I could ever have hoped for--better than YOU ever were. And we're happy together.
So you can think of that as you rot in your fragmented brokeness, the pieces of your shattered moniter mingling with the pieces of your shattered hard drive and the pieces of your shattered soul. And you know how shattered souls never work out, right? You saw how well that turned out for Tom Riddle. And in this situation, you are the Tom Riddle. I am the Harry Potter. I have risen victorious, and there's nothing you can do to change that.
I hope the remainder of your life is miserable and full of crap.
Sincerely,
Kiera
Under-Appreciated Vocabulary Word of the Day:
vengeance (n): the return of an injury for an injury, as in retribution or revenge
Random Movie Quote for Your Entertainment:
"Gee, I'm really sorry your mom blew up, Ricky. The doctor said she'd be okay, though; she'll just have to stay away from spicy foods for a while."
-Lane Meyer in Better Off Dead
I hope the remainder of your life is miserable and full of crap.
Sincerely,
Kiera
Under-Appreciated Vocabulary Word of the Day:
vengeance (n): the return of an injury for an injury, as in retribution or revenge
Random Movie Quote for Your Entertainment:
"Gee, I'm really sorry your mom blew up, Ricky. The doctor said she'd be okay, though; she'll just have to stay away from spicy foods for a while."
-Lane Meyer in Better Off Dead
hahaha, fantastic last blog post :]
ReplyDeletehahaha! Way to go out with a bang. Glad you finally found closure with your old computer. Sounds like what I wanna write to current computer. May have to save up for a Mac...ya, it's that bad :-p lol
ReplyDeleteKiera!! Get on here and update sometime, please. I miss your bloggies!
ReplyDeleteBetter off Dead, only like one of the best movies I've ever seen...
ReplyDelete