My Great Dislike of Theme Parks

I'm going to Lagoon (an amusement park in Farmington, Utah) with my family on Friday.

I have a shocking announcement to make: I do not like amusement/theme parks (althoughI'm sure I'll make an exception for the Harry Potter one when it opens).

Now, you may be thinking, "WHAT?! KIERA, ARE YOU INSANE?! YOU DO NOT LIKE THEME PARKS???!!!1!11?" Which is a valid question; I mean, how could one NOT like a theme park? What with all the rides expertly designed to twist your stomach into a pretzel, melt your brain into a giant vat of migraine, and give you a serious case of whiplash; the continual awkward sightings of wonderful, tattoo-covered, sketchy and unattractive-looking couples making out passionately in front of you in line for those rides; the over-priced food that tastes like straight grease; the tightly-wound workers who tell you that basically, you are not allowed to do anything except breath quietly and blink while on the rides; the water rides in which you get covered in the same "water" that's been poured all over other people in the park throughout the day, mixing with their sweat and possibly saliva, dripping back out of their filthy hair and the creases of their pants and their shoes; the bathrooms that seem to repel all forms of cleaner and are full of unflushed toilets... Honestly, when you consider all of these amazing benefits of a day in a theme park, it just makes you antsy to get to one doesn't it?

Hmm...that's strange: it sort of seems like everything I just mentioned is actually stuff that sucks about theme parks...interesting.

Seriously, I can list the things I like about going to amusement parks (in this case, Lagoon) on one hand:

1. Dippin' Dots, the most amazing ice cream-like dish in the world.


2. The Rocket, one of the few rides I can enjoy without feeling dag-nasty afterwards.


3. The cheesy Broadway entertainment.

4. How hilariously unrealistic the ride"Dracula's Castle" is and the fact that it used to scare me as a child. Lagoon's website describes this ride as, "a classic dark ride, carrying guests through darkened hallways, with apparitions and suprises around every corner." Mwahahahahaha. These apparitions look like paper mache and have been there since the dawn of time.

5. People watching. If you ever think your family is the only weird one in the world, you have only to go to an amusement park or county/state fair.

There you go. So needless to say, I am not super thrilled for Friday...I'd even go as far as to say I'd rather just go to work as usual and GET PAID to do something that I don't exactly find enthralling. Oh well, it's life I guess...plus the weird people that I sometimes suspect aren't people at all will make it an interesting day, to be sure. And I'll get to eat Dippin' Dots, which are worth all amounts of suffering.

Under-Appreciated Vocabulary Word of the Day:
globule (n.): a tiny drop of liquid.

Random Movie Quote for Your Entertainment:
"Maria was married on Saturday. In all important preparations of mind she was complete, being prepared for matrimony by a hatred of home, by the misery of disappointed affection, and contempt of the man she was to marry. The bride was elegantly dressed and the two bridesmaids were duly inferior. Her mother stood with salts, expecting to be agitated, and her aunt tried to cry. Marriage is indeed a maneuvering business."
--Fanny Price in "Mansfield Park"

Random Collection of Thoughts

Hey there, blog readers. Today's entry is--once again!--highly unplanned. To tell you the truth I'm mostly just writing it so that you guys will see my sweet new blog layout! I changed it for Summer, and I basically think it looks like happiness personified...blogified?...whatever.

In order for this to be a blog I suppose I must say some things now besides just that I admire my own blog layout, so here is a random collection of thoughts for the day:

• I work both of my jobs on Mondays with one hour in between the two to quickly down a no-name brand SlimFast and run any necessary errands; today that one hour was very promising: I checked the mail to find an adorable package from EMILY! (aka Mango/Wednesday/emlove143) It was a really cute assortment of summer things (bubbles, frisbees, etc.) and a sweet note. <3>
• And speaking of unpredictable--haha--I impulsively purchased some super exciting bright shades of nail polish today which will probably make me feel adventurous when I wear them, even if I'm just sitting at home reading a book.
• And speaking of reading, I'm currently reading the second volume of Octavian Nothing which is taking me ages to get through but is a really good book. Historical fiction is enjoyable AND educational! Woohoo! It's really got me thinking about how far Civil Rights have come today and how badly it would suck to be a slave. I've come to appreciate freedom to a greater extent than before through reading this book; it's a gift just to be able to get to choose your own work and get paid for it...and yet we constantly find ourselves complaining about our jobs...silly spoiled modern day people! (including me.)
  
• And speaking of silly modern day people, have you ever noticed how hilarious make-up tutorials are on YouTube? The girls who do them crack me up with their little mousy voices and technical terms that go on for what seems like forever, but is actually only about eight minutes. I don't mean to be rude to them--I'm sure they are very nice people and their videos are frequently put to good use by their viewers--but the video format that they all seem to prefer just cracks me up. Just once I want to see a girl make one that's only a couple minutes long and has a script like this: "Okay guys, so what you're going to do is grab one of these doo-hickies with the thing on the end, cover it in some of this crap, and stick it on your eyeball. [jump cut] Now put some of this gunk over it like this. [jump cut] Ta-da! Now you look like a rockstar! The end!" That would be awesome. Maybe I should make a faux-tutorial video like that for entertainment purposes...hmmm...*muses over the possibilities*

So there's your daily dose of random! YAY!

Also, question for the comments (which I have a legitimate reason for asking): What is the worst movie you've ever seen?

Under-Appreciated Vocabulary Word of the Day: (I swear I'm not making this word up)
frabjous (adj): splendid; fine. (And as an added tidbit of fun fact, this word was coined by Lewis Carroll. Yay! He's so frabjous...)

Random Movie (...er...TV) Quote for Your Entertainment:
"It's not a bad thing to want a real life, Will! And to have a glue gun that WORKS!!!"
--Terri Shewster in Glee

Woah...a blog post??!

...seriously...what is this...like...APRIL?!

No, stupid. It's June. Duh. Has been for ten days. Sheesh. Why do you as such dumb questions?

Okay. I'm sorry, dear blog reader. You aren't stupid. You're really smart. But whoever the hypothetical question asker is must be pretty dumb, okay?!

Wow. This is a really weird blog already--can't wait to see what else is in store! (Even I don't know because I don't have anything planned; I just desperately felt like posting again since I haven't for the past month and a half.)

I've spent a little of my free time the past couple of days catching up on my favorite blogs (Maureen Johnson, hayleyghoover, and italktosnakes), and it's apparently lit the flame of blog writing again in my dear heart. I've kind of missed putting my thoughts down for random internet users to peruse, which sounds like it could be some weird mental disorder, but feels quite normal when it's actually happening to you. Sooooo, what to write about?

Love life? No such thing...hmmm

Scholarly pursuits? Nope.

My job? Not really...well...okay...sort of.

So, life at the writing lab lately...my friend Katie recently got hired as a tutor at my Writing Center, so we've been having a lot of fun on Tuesday nights when we work one overlapping hour (the golden hour from 6:30-7:30). Thus far we've spent said time showing each other entertaining things on the internet, having both philosophical and trivial conversations about books and our shared acquaintances, and suffering through a really bad student paper submitted to us online which may or may not have included a source by the name of--I kid you not!--Winkeljohn. How can I take a research paper seriously that keeps quoting Winkeljohn?!

So anyway, moving back to the subject at hand, the other day Katie and I were discussing our high school English classes and I made mention of a certain short story I wrote in my sophomore year (age 16-ish for you non-yanks) which featured Katie as one of the main characters. She didn't remember it, so I found a copy I had saved in my e-mail and we read it aloud together. It made for extremely enjoyable reading. In Katie's words it is "like a really weird mixture of...Twilight and...Agatha Christie." However, bear in mind that comparing my sorry attempt at a murder thriller to Agatha Christie is kind of like comparing a three-year-old plunking away on a piano to, like, say...Beethoven.

I will include an exerpt now for your amusement at my expense:

It was now that she truly wished that she didn’t live alone. She normally avoided relationships, feeling that she didn’t need a man to make her happy, but now she was very much in need of a strong and study husband to make her feel secure. Little did she know that the answer to her query was waiting on her front porch just about to ring the doorbell.

As the bell sounded, Thorpe began his usual barking to notify her that they had company.

“Shh! Thorpe, calm down…,” she consoled her dog, “It’s okay…” She swung the door open halfway and peered up at an amiable police officer, just older than she, standing up straight and tall, looking all business. “Um, Hello officer,” she greeted him, blushing a little and wishing she would have done something with her hair before answering the door. “Can I help you with something?”

“Actually Miss, you could. I’m from the Crime Scene Investigation Unit here in town. We have several sources that point straight to your residence as the hide out for an armed and very dangerous killer. May I please inspect your home? That is…if you don’t mind of course.” His voice was soothing, creamy. It had a certain quality to it that sounded cultured and gave him a proper tone that suggested a slight European accent. Something about the way he spoke made her like him the moment she met him, but no matter how kindhearted and smooth the words came out, they still stuck in her head and registered fear and coldness.

“Oh, of course I don’t mind! I would really prefer it if you took a look around, to tell you the truth.” She had a way of keeping her voice completely calm and under control even though on the inside she was completely shocked, panicky, and having a nervous breakdown.

He stepped inside and began his investigation. She noticed that even his stride was distinguished. Why on Earth did he become a police officer? He should be a lawyer or professor or leader of a big firm, she thought. What she didn’t know was that he wasn’t a police officer. He was playing a double role in coming here.

This chunk is a good example of what the entire story is like. It's completely ridiculous. Katie and I were excessively diverted by this crap-writing. If you were entertained by it even a tenth of the amount that we were I have fulfilled my purpose in this blog post. I'm glad that the paper I actually ended up turning in for this assignment was significantly better--and that my teacher encouraged me to go in a different direction and use a true story from my life instead.

It's funny how perspective changes; I remember writing this story and thinking it was dang good stuff. How very wrong I was! Now it's only purpose is to perpetually engage all those who read it, not on its merit as a chilling tale, but rather, its merit as poorly-written rubbish and its nostalgic value. But, as a wise man once said, "We never write as well as we think we do in high school!" (Winkeljohn)

Under-Appreciated Vocabulary Word of the Day:

encapsulate (v): to make concise; condense.

Random Movie Quote for Your Entertainment:

"You can't just ask someone why they're white!"

--Gretchen Weiners in Mean Girls

My Wrath is Swift and Terrible

I didn't know what to write about today, and I wanted to do something special for the last day of BEDA...I've decided (since I don't have a whole lot of time left today in which to blog--this is because I've been so busy today; I had Doctor Who to watch!) to take one of Maureen Johnson's suggestions on what to blog about on this last day as we run out of ideas. I'm choosing option 5 (I think?) which was to write an angry complaint letter to something in your life that hasn't been working properly and tell it off.

Here goes. I am now flexing my flamer muscles in my fingers. You do not want to be on the receiving end of my Wrath.

Dear Old Computer,

Remember back in the good old days when you fooled me into thinking you were awesome? We used to have fun together; I would sit in front of you and we'd play games: minesweeper, jezzball, solitaire, you name it. We were pretty good buddies, you and I. Back then you were dependable. You were always there for me.

But then you changed.

You became distant. You began shutting me out (of programs, of the internet, of you life). And who could forget that time you mysteriously lost and then deleted EVERY FILE IN MY VERY EXTENSIVE ITUNES LIBRARY?!!!! I don't believe I can ever forgive you for that. And then there was that last week we were together when you got even worse. You stopped working altogether; you completely crashed and left me all alone.

I'm not writing you this letter to get an apology. (You're too proud for that...and also...um...I'm not sure it's within your computer-y capabilities to respond to this in any way that I could comprehend because you are a TOOL. That's it. You're nothing without a person controlling you. You are worthless!!!) I'm just writing to tell you that I've moved on. You no longer have any effect over my life; I'm through being stung by your thoughtlessness and disregard for my every happiness.

Yes. There's someone else: a shiny, new model that is more than I could ever have hoped for--better than YOU ever were. And we're happy together.

So you can think of that as you rot in your fragmented brokeness, the pieces of your shattered moniter mingling with the pieces of your shattered hard drive and the pieces of your shattered soul. And you know how shattered souls never work out, right? You saw how well that turned out for Tom Riddle. And in this situation, you are the Tom Riddle. I am the Harry Potter. I have risen victorious, and there's nothing you can do to change that.

I hope the remainder of your life is miserable and full of crap.

Sincerely,

Kiera

Under-Appreciated Vocabulary Word of the Day:
vengeance (n): the return of an injury for an injury, as in retribution or revenge

Random Movie Quote for Your Entertainment:
"Gee, I'm really sorry your mom blew up, Ricky. The doctor said she'd be okay, though; she'll just have to stay away from spicy foods for a while."
-Lane Meyer in Better Off Dead

Attempting To Not Appear Insane

Seriously, it's harder than it sounds. (That's what she said.) (NO! We are not going into Michael Scott jokes. NOOOOO!)

Okay. I'm forcing myself out of that mode. So do you guys ever have those moments when you are in a public-ish place* and you laugh about something that only you are being entertained by and whoever can hear you thinks you're crazy? That happens to me ALL the TIME. Here are the situations in which it happens most often:

1. When I'm sitting at a computer with headphones in, generally watching YouTube videos.
2. When I'm reading a book.
3. When I'm listening to my iPod.
4. When I'm at some large gathering such as church, high school choir concerts, or a lecture.

In that last instance it's usually because I'm remembering something funny that happened earlier that day; it's always at an inappropriate moment, like when someone else is speaking about something really serious--I just remember something comical and can't help laughing and then I get dirty looks from everyone who thinks I'm making fun of the speaker.

Multiple times this has happened when my family sits down to dinner and someone is saying the prayer on the food. The funny thought comes back to me and just...Oh dear.

So here's what brought this on: I was catching up on my YouTube subscriptions on my work computer at the writing lab because I didn't have any students today, when I came across this video:



I don't even remember if it was THAT funny, but I was just in one of those moods and I started cracking up. I literally had to clamp my hand over my mouth and nose to stop myself from sounding like a lunatic because I had headphones in and there were a bunch of math tutoring people in the room with me. They could probably still here my stifled giggle fit even with my muffling precautions AND the fact that I was pausing the video every few seconds so that it wouldn't keep being funny at me! Wow; I sure do sound like an insane person.

So there's your daily dose of Kiera looking insane! Let me know in the comments if this happens to you, too.

*public-ish place: any place where there is at least one other person within fifteen feet of you

Under-Appreciated Vocabulary Word of the Day:
maniacal (adj): wildly/violently insane

Random Movie Quote for Your Entertainment:
"Mental, that one, I'm tellin' ya."
-Ronald Weasley in Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone

Adventures From My Youth

Nothing life-changing has occurred today, so I shall regail you all with stories about my childhood.

First of all, my best friend's name was Erica. And we're still friends to this day, see?:

(Also, hello to Erica if you're reading this since I know you occasionally get on and read my blogs!)

Okay, so before I get off topic, distracted by the shiny happy picture specialness and shout-outs to friends, I will go on with my story.

When Erica and I were little, we got into all sorts of trouble; we just liked to call them adventures, though. You may remember my mention of selling hot-dogs from door to door as a five year old with a friend in my "Remember That Time" blog. That friend was most definitely Erica. To elaborate on the story, this is basically what happened:

1. Erica and I, as curious and ambitious five year olds, overhear her mom talking to some other grown up lady and she says, "I know. Hot dogs are getting SO expensive."
2. Erica turns to me, as she always does when she gets brilliant ideas, and says, "We could make a killing selling hot-dogs to people!"
3. We, being little kids, automatically decide that hot-dogs would be much more valuable if they were already microwaved, cut up, and ketchup-ed, and so prepare the hot-dogs.
4. We set out with a plate of ketchup-y hot-dog slices and attempt to sell them to her unsuspecting neighbors at an astronomically high price for what they're paying for. (Something like twenty dollars PER SLICE if I recall correctly.)
5. Mrs. Across-The-Street phones up Erica's mom to tell her what's going on and our entire business scheme is ruined.
Ah. Such good business people we made. I look back on that time as one of the happiest and most successful in my life; I wish I had that kind of stamina now to get things done at such a high rate of speed. Like, can you imagine how exciting my essays would be and how effectively they'd get written if I was still that innovative? It would be like BAM idea BAM write BAM perfect finished paper.

Erica and I also started several clubs which convened in her tool shed. We were surrounded by random gardening tools and assortments of various fruits and vegetables in jars as we pretended to discuss important items while jotting down notes in our colored, paper folders. The club evolved a few times over the years: sometimes we were "The Mystery Club"; other times "The Spy Club"; I believe our club culminated in the completely ingenious, masterly-thought-out, imaginatively and aptly named "Fun Club". And I'm not even kidding when I say I'm PRETTY sure our motto was "Fun Fun Fun". How creative. But good times were had by all in that "clubhouse".

Too bad we don't all have the attitude of children anymore...this world would be freakin' amazing if we all still had such child-like ideas and beliefs that we could easily make any of them happen in a second. Don't get me wrong, I'd still want everyone to have the intelligence and experience of an adult, just with that perfectly confident feeling of a child. We'd all do so much more stuff that we wanted to do without being so synical and discouraged about what is and is not "possible". When you're a kid, the word "impossible" is kind of impossible...it just doesn't really exist for you at all.

Wow. I really just started writing this blog post to share some funny childhood stories, but it's made me wax nostalgic and reflective; who'da thunk?

Under-Appreciated Vocabulary Word of the Day:
pristine (adj): characteristic of the earliest period; unspoiled

Random Movie Quote for Your Entertainment:
"If you were my kids, I'd PUNISH you."
"If we were your kids, we'd punish ourselves."
-Stimey in "Little Rascals"

My Life's Soundtrack

Hey there, blog readers.

Today's post is inspired by my little sister's school assignment: she was challenged to come up with a playlist of ten songs that describe her/her life in some way. I thought it sounded like an interesting and fun assignment, so I'm going to do that myself and share it with you. ( I tried to limit down the number of songs as much as possible, but once I got to this point I couldn't narrow it any further, so here are my eighteen songs.)

1. "Across the Universe" by The Beatles. Because this song speaks so much to the writer in me.
2. "The Call" by Regina Spektor. Because everything that starts small can turn into something so much bigger and memories are precious; they should not be forgotten merely because those you share them with aren't around or because nobody around you understands them.
3. "Some Things Are Meant To Be" from "Little Women". Because some parts of our lives are meant to be happy, some sad, some in between, and some difficult. We have to accept all of them together.
4. "Lessons Learned" by Carrie Underwood. Because every mistake is worthwhile if we learn from it.
5. "In My Life" by The Beatles. Because I look back on a lot of things with fond memories and "in my life I've loved them all."
6. "Music Box" by Regina Spektor. Because I hate the conventions that society forces upon us, and sometimes I long to break free and "sing another melody completely".
7. "My Life" by Billy Joel. Because it drives me nuts when people with no authority over the choices I make try to tell me what to do with my life.
8. "La La Land" by Demi Lovato. Because I believe we should all live the way we want--be able to stay down to earth and not be too concerned with what the rest of the world thinks of us.
9. "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. Because "sometimes my tries are outside the lines". I don't always want to be like everyone else.
10. "Over You" by Daughtry. Because this is EXACTLY how I feel about guys when I get over liking them. Kind of a "What was I thinking? What did I see in you?" syndrome.
11. "Fairytale" by Sara Bareilles. Because life doesn't end at marriage--after the "happily ever after" there are still hard times. There are always things that need to be worked out. Also, it's kind of a "Be careful what you wish for" song, and I love that theme.
12. "One Fine Day" by The Chiffons. Because this what goes on in my head when I like a guy who doesn't know I exist.
13. "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor. Because when it comes to love, I'm kind of a coward; I'm scared of getting hurt so I don't take the leap.
14. "I'll Be Seeing You" by Linda Eder. Because it's a gorgeous rendition of a gorgeous song, and it perfectly describes my feelings whenever someone I love is away and I miss them.
15. "Like A Song" by Lenka. Because certain people who make impressions on me/are influential in my life stick in my head "just like a song".
16. "Enchantment Passing Through" from "Aida". Because sometimes I dream of all the possibilities out there that I have yet to explore and I imagine experiencing them.
17. "The Spark of Creation" from "Children of Eden". Because I'm a curious creature, don'tcha know?
18. "Just Around the Riverbend" from "Pocahontas". Because I love the way there are constant changes in the world, and I need to remember that change isn't always a scary thing.

So there you have it. What are some of your songs that describe you or your life?

P.S. Also, thanks go to Sean (livin4hymn) for his blog which reminded me I wanted to compose this list.

Under-Appreciated Vocabulary Word of the Day:
subvert (v): to destroy completely; to ruin

Random Movie Quote for Your Entertainment:
"Life continues a quick succession of busy nothings."
-Fanny Price in "Mansfield Park"