tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-263228614883563920.post7867854199195002713..comments2013-11-15T14:16:45.296-08:00Comments on Fruity Goodness from Kiera's Brain: Self-NarrativeKiera Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11320917690598575002noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-263228614883563920.post-80219412614632374472010-04-24T21:19:23.163-07:002010-04-24T21:19:23.163-07:00Aw, this was really cute. I really like how I was ...Aw, this was really cute. I really like how I was able to see everything you were describing, down to the colors. There was just the right amount of describing and conversation to not make it too dull or sound like it was dragging on. <br /><br />I did think the "very little real logic" line was a bit wordy. Maybe something like "minimal actual logic"?<br /><br />Overall, great story, Kiera. :)Travishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12322724620195464625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-263228614883563920.post-44142662203354575932010-04-24T21:15:26.398-07:002010-04-24T21:15:26.398-07:00It's a well-written story, from my view. I'...It's a well-written story, from my view. I'm able to tell what's going on, and I can kind of get the whole "I'm so much better than you" vibe coming from Brooke. <br /><br />It's not overly written like a drama, but it isn't too simple like a children's booklet. <br /><br />Instead, it has just the right amount of detail to show how the scene is set up and what the main character (you) is feeling. <br /><br />I feel like the theme that you're trying to show is the feeling of not wanting to grow up, and that feeling of inspiration that you get from something so simple as a child. That it's so easy to ignore it, or lose hope in it, but we shouldn't.<br /><br />Hope I helped :DAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-263228614883563920.post-89444836183668237402010-04-24T21:13:50.672-07:002010-04-24T21:13:50.672-07:00This reminds me a lot of my childhood haha. I'...This reminds me a lot of my childhood haha. I'm the youngest of all my cousins. When we were all young together, we'd play together, but then it got to a point where it would just be me and Jay, who is just a month older than me. Everyone else would just shake their heads at us xD<br />This story makes me think about how we shouldn't be in such a hurry to grow up. Kids have so much drive, ambition, creativity and pure excitement. Adults and/or those who want to be adults can learn something new from kids every day. I think we should always remain young at heart. <br />I hope that helps a little? :)kaylasturnernoreply@blogger.com